


To Be Alone With You

by SmolPotato3404



Series: Sledgefu Week 2020 [2]
Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Finally, Getting Together, M/M, Moving On, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-War, Sledgefu Week 2020, Surprise Visits, Touch, its pretty vague but maybe watch out for that, sledgefu week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolPotato3404/pseuds/SmolPotato3404
Summary: It came as a surprise to him one day when he set out to buy an engagement ring for Anna and ended up buying a one-way ticket to New Orleans, departing in half an hour. He didn't stop by home to tell anyone or grab anything. He boarded that train to New Orleans, no address, no plan, no explanation. Just the image of one man etched into his mind forever.-Eugene can't get Snafu out of his mind so he books it to New Orleans.
Relationships: Merriell "Snafu" Shelton/Eugene Sledge
Series: Sledgefu Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851721
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	To Be Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2: Touch. Boy I sure do love surprise train visits. Title is from the Sufjan Stevens song by the same name.

It had been about four months since Eugene had been back home. About four months since he had gotten some good sleep. About four months since he last memorized the sharp profile of Snafu’s face. About four months since he had traced his lips with a gentle touch. 

The memories lingered in his fingertips, they flashed behind his eyes every time he closed them. They grew more faint every day, making Eugene worry that someday they would fade completely. 

He spent most of his days resting outdoors. His mother kept harping on him to get a job, but Eugene was far more interested in studying the trees and the meadowlarks, with their bright yellow breasts and their flute like song. He would take sketches, press flowers neatly in his journal, and at the end of the day he would pack his pipe and stare out the window at the twinkling stars.

Meals were lonely. He knew his parents meant well, but he felt so uncomfortably out of place every time they tried to make conversation. He no longer had anything in common with them. Every attempt at a normal conversation only alienated him still more. 

Sleep was the worst. Some nights he could barely manage to fall asleep. On the nights when he did sleep, he was plagued with nightmares. Cursed with gruesome memories from the war, he usually thrashed around in his sleep until he finally jolted awake in a cold sweat. Without the warm, tangible weight of Snafu huddled next to him, all the memories came flooding back. He was on the beach, the airfield, in the old farmhouse. He would see the weathered face of the old lady dying in his arms. He would see the lifeless bodies of Eddie, Ack-Ack, Hamm being hauled away to some unholy grave. There were especially terrible nights he would see Snafu, his usual unblinking gaze turned lifeless and glass-like. 

Four months later and Eugene still couldn’t get used to the simple joys of civilian life. Nothing felt quite like home. Not his own house with the shady trees. Not the streets he used to run down with Sid. Not even Sid himself. Ever since the wedding, he had become a different person. A loving husband, an expecting father. He was glad to see his friend moving on, it was just strange to think this was the same boy with the toothless grin that he had befriended so many years ago. The same boy he rushed after into war. They no longer knew each other like before, did not have the same intimacy. Not like the way he knew Snafu. Or used to anyway.

Eugene realized that he might have to marry one day. But the thought of settling down with a nice, mild-mannered girl just didn’t appeal to him. Just last week, Sid and Mary were trying to set him up with one of Mary’s college friends, Anna. She was a lovely girl, with dainty hands and a kind smile. They got along well enough. She had quite the sense of humor and bright eyes. At the end of dinner, Eugene even offered to walk her home. It really shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise when they started going out a mere two weeks later. 

He didn’t feel much at first. Not when he kissed her, not when he held her, not when she touched his face with careful hands on shaky nights when fearful memories clouded his mind. He felt bad for giving her the illusion that he cared much more than he did. Then slowly, weeks turned into months, and when she said, "I love you" to him for the first time, he said it back, tracing her lips with the pad of his thumb, the site where the most powerful set of words were uttered. Maybe things were meant to be like this. Everyone around them seemed to think so.

It came as a surprise to him one day when he set out to buy an engagement ring for Anna and ended up buying a one-way ticket to New Orleans, departing in half an hour. He didn't stop by home to tell anyone or grab anything. He boarded that train to New Orleans, no address, no plan, no explanation. Just the image of one man etched into his mind forever.

-

Of all things that could’ve happened to him on a Thursday night, Merriell Shelton did not expect to see a wild-eyed Eugene Sledge at his door. His heart started racing, memories flooding back to him all at once. Their first encounter, the way Gene grabbed his shoulder to drag him off the airfield, the way their hands would glide past each other while loading mortars. The way Merriell found himself hesitating to wake Gene’s angelic sleeping form everytime, the way he would wake up to the slow sunrise in China with Gene’s cot pushed against his own. His fingertips beg to reach out and touch him, just to make sure he’s really there. So naturally, when Eugene says, “Hey Snaf,” he shuts the door quickly. 

Unfortunately for him, Eugene wedges his foot in between the door and makes his way into Merriell’s apartment. No one has called him “Snaf” or even “Snafu” in almost a year now. Having Eugene in his apartment— it was surreal. He thought that maybe his mind was playing cruel tricks on him. Maybe he had finally cracked. Merriell steps back to take in the man before him. His shirt is slightly wrinkled and his hair is styled with gel, and it almost makes Merriell want to laugh. His hazel eyes are alight with something that makes Merriell’s heart jump. 

“After all the trouble I’ve been through trying to find you, I was kind of worried for a second that you weren’t gonna let me in,” Eugene broke the silence with a lopsided grin which quickly fell. 

“You know I could never say no to you, cher,” Merriell’s tone regained some of its old teasing lilt, but his face was still. They sat tensely at Snafu’s small kitchen table, eyes locked, unblinking. Tracking one another’s every move. 

“Why’d you leave me on the train—”

“How have you been Gene—” 

Eugene was gracious enough to answer Merriell’s question first. “I’ve been alright, been taking some college courses.” It seemed that was all they needed as an excuse to avoid the big topics, making light conversation instead. It felt strange to talk to Eugene in this way. He usually reserved that for his landlord and friends of his maman. He found himself immersed in Eugene’s descriptions of the field near his house, and Merriell told him about his visits to his maman’s house along the bayou.

“That reminds me, do you have a phone that I can borrow?” Eugene suddenly sits up straight. 

“Used to,” Merriell drawls. It’s meant to be funny, but Eugene still looks around the small apartment, with its worn out kitchen and the striking absence of furniture. His eyes reach the hole in the wall where Merriell’s landline used to be and slowly turns away again. He meets his eyes again with an apologetic smile. “There’s a phone booth down the street, I’ll walk you down there.”

In the harsh light of the phone booth, Merriell studies Eugene’s face. He is sure that Eugene is even more beautiful now than before. He seems to radiate youth and health.

“You finally found a girl back home Sledgehamma?” Snafu blurts out suddenly. Eugene frowns slightly, punching in the number. Trying to make himself sound more casual, he adds, “Got a nice wife waiting for you back in Mobile, Alabama?”

“I was supposed to…” Eugene trails off softly, gaze losing focus. Snafu doesn’t know how to take that. His heart skips a beat.

“Jesus Gene, you didn’t leave her at the altar to come down here, did you?”

Eugene doesn’t answer as the person on the other end of the line picks up. He speaks in a low, measured voice, picking up with impatience as the other person screams from their end of the line. It's an awkward few minutes to say the least.

“I’ll be fine, love you ma,” the other person, presumably Eugene’s mother, is still hysterical as Eugene hangs up the phone. Snafu just stares at him in silence, neither of them moving for a moment. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Eugene surges forward, grabbing Snafu’s face in his hands, crashing their lips together, and it electrifies Snafu straight to his heart. The feeling of Eugene’s fingertips grasping the sides of his face makes him melt right there, and he has to pull away before anybody strolls by and takes notice of the two men grabbing desperately at each other. 

Once they make it back into the safety of Snafu’s apartment, they cling onto each other like they won’t ever let go again. Eugene’s nose grazing the side of his cheek, the taste of his mouth, the smell of his soap, every sense of Snafu’s being is Eugene. His atoms are on fire where Eugene’s hands are on his waist, where he runs his own fingers through soft auburn hair, where Eugene’s knee nestles itself between Snafu’s legs. 

“W-why did you leave me on that train?” Eugene gasps through stuttered breaths. Once again, it's Snafu’s turn to not answer, so he just kisses Eugene harder with the desperation of a starving man, trying to make him feel everything he’s harbored for almost a year without him. Eugene doesn’t seem to mind, slamming their hips together as he guides Snafu in the general direction of his bed. 

He lays him out on the mattress, Snafu caressing his face with shaky hands. He didn't realize how much he had missed being this close to Eugene. He couldn’t have this forever, Snafu reasoned as Eugene unbuckled his trousers, fingers slotting against his body like they were made to fit there. Every touch is heaven, and Snafu shakes with a mixture of relief, passion and heartache as Eugene holds him tightly.

Afterwards, they lay together, Snafu’s face buried deep in Eugene’s neck as he cards his fingers through Snafu’s head of soft curls. Snafu knew that he would have to face the heartbreak tomorrow, but he just wants to enjoy the embrace of his lover one last time. He knows that Eugene will go back home and he’ll be left with nothing but the memory. 

Eugene leans away from Snafu’s face to whisper softly, “Why’d you leave me on the train Snaf?” Snafu knew that at some point he’d finally have to answer that question, and looking into Eugene’s eyes, he knew it had to be now.

“I couldn’t say goodbye,” he whispered hoarsely. “I knew I couldn’t have you, Gene. You deserve kids and a good wife that'll have dinner ready for you at the end of each day. I—” Snafu pauses, smiling weakly. “I thought about waking you up, Gene, I really did. But looking at you sleeping all peaceful and I just didn’t have the heart. 

“I think I knew that if I woke you up, you’d ask me to stay, and I knew I wouldn’ be able to say no to you, Gene. It would've been better for you to just forget about me.”

“Well that obviously didn’t work." Eugene cupped Snafu’s face in his hands, and his eyes briefly fluttered closed. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be down here right now on a whim.” Snafu chuckles. “The last time I got good sleep was when I was with you.” They hold each other for the rest of the night.

-

Eugene stayed with Snafu for a few days before going back to his family to pacify them. He came back after about a week with a potted plant. Then a week later with a new landline and then the visits to New Orleans became more frequent until one day Eugene decided giving up the chance at a wife and a family was worth it if it meant he could be alone with Snafu. 

He finished hauling the last few boxes of his belongings up into Snafu’s apartment, where Snafu had already gotten to work on a second omelet. With his hand resting on Snafu’s back, he breathed a deep inhale of his new life. 

**Author's Note:**

> ok maybe i just sprinkled the word "touch" here and there don't come for me. anyways thanks for reading!


End file.
